This morning’s test was, as predicted, a perfectly white BFN.
But now I’m thinking…
- I am obviously conceiving (as the miscarriages and these faint lines confirm), on a pretty regular basis.
- I have been gluten-free for 3 months, and feel so much better for it. My immune system should have turned off the alarms and settled down by now (so I think my miscarriage risk should now be lower than it was).
- I am 39 (almost 40), so there WILL be some eggs, some months, that are no good.
- If we go to a fertility clinic, they will assist us with either IUI, or IVF.
- IUI is no better than what me and DH managed this month. Conception, but no implantation.
- IVF is still going to carry the same risk. Fertilised egg. No implantation.
- Or worse, either natural, IUI or IVF could end up taking and then ending in miscarriage – just through chance (rather than the constant immune-system based rejection I’ve had until now).
So what’s the answer?
For me, I don’t think it’s a fertility clinic.
I just don’t see how that’s going to improve my chances – conceiving isn’t the issue here, it’s the eggs.
So, I’ve been doing some research.
The primordial pool
This is the collection of eggs, as given to you at birth, held in pretty much a period of stasis your entire life (interestingly, research is now even questioning the long-held assumption that the collection of eggs is finite, which is incredible, but that is a whole different subject).
This article has lots of detail on the process of egg maturation, but the important bits are:
- Eggs are held in a primordial follicle (untouched from birth).
- The FULL maturation process (hundreds are recruited at a time) can take from months to a full year.
- The debris of all the eggs that don’t make it is removed in a process called apoptosis.
- The eggs are not the problem, it is the ovarian environment in which they grow (which is subject to age, lifestyle, diet).
The article then goes on about supplementing with DHEA, but that’s not what I’m interested in. A single supplement isn’t going to radically overhaul my 39 year old body. Been there, done that.
But what if you could provide a much, much better environment for those eggs to mature in?
The maturation process, from original baby-fresh egg, to ovulation, seems to take on average 90 days*.
What if you gave your body nothing but the best for 90 days?
Would your eggs be better?
Would 90 days of eating truly amazing food, exercising and looking after yourself, give you better odds than assisted conception?
You can see where this is going, right?
Given we’ve been trying for 27 months (going on 28), what is 90 days?
I am going to talk to DH tonight about our fertility appointment – I think I want to push it out by 3 months. I am CERTAIN we can do this – CERTAIN.
I just feel like we’re so close, that spending all that money (thousands of pounds for us) is only to be done as the absolute last resort.
And I’m not there yet.
So instead I’m going to start a Healthy Pregnancy In 90 Days mission.
If I’m NOT pregnant by 30th October, we’ll do the clinic thing.
*Actually, it’s the development of a pre-antral follicle to ovulation that takes 85-90 days. The phase of primordial egg to pre-antral egg takes around 9 months, but is not controlled by our hormone levels. This article has a nice diagram too (you might want to ignore the reference to buying their products!).