Under the Floorboards

Having told lots of you about this, I”ve been meaning to post these pictures for ages.

This is our dining room. Looks like a nice ordinary room doesn’t it?

(photo lost in transit)

While Steve was away for the weekend, I decided to have a closer look at the two little floorboards you can see in front of the door. I noticed them not long after we moved in, because they are so much smaller than the others, and wondered if someone had hidden a box of treasure in the floor.

dining room floor

You can imagine my surprise when they popped up really easily and revealed this.


A trapdoor!!

It was very, very dark down there. I was in the house on my own that weekend, and got a bit freaked out by the discovery. I put the floorboards back and covered them with lots of heavy stuff until Steve came home to stop any goblins getting in.

The following weekend we decided to investigate. What if there was some kind of secret tunnel running under our house? We needed to find out.

The hole was so tiny, I was the only one who could get down there. I clambered through in some old clothes, armed with the Smallest Torch in the World, and my camera.

Intrepid journalist Faye Williams risked death by crazed zombies to bring you these pictures.

under the floor

Can you see how small my torch is, and how dark it is down there?┬áCan you see the tarantula’s web over my right shoulder?

The hole was as big as the one in the floor above. And look, there’s someone”s dustbin lid.

under the floor

The passageway goes along all under the hallway, and there’s another hole in the wall at the end…

under the floor

There don’t seem to be any dead bodies so far, so I crawl along and go through the next hole. Now I’m under the lounge.

In the photos it all looks nice and bright. Let me tell you that I was crawling around down there with the aid of a torch beam the size of a gnat. The camera has a flash. The camera makes it look normal. The camera lies.

There are more holes into the space under the kitchen, but the floor is getting a little more treacherous and I don’t want to break an ankle. Someone’s left a bike fork and what looks like a hospital bed headboard down here.

Finally satisifed that there are no passageways open to bandits, no buried people, no rabid foxes, no rats, goblins or ghouls, I make my way back to the trapdoor.


Leave a reply

%d bloggers like this: