There is a heartbeat!!!
Doctor’s appointments make me feel sick and nervous anyway, so that, combined with my nausea, racing heartbeat, and steroid-induced shakiness, meant that by the time I got to to the clinic and sat down, I felt like I was going to fall off the chair and throw up on the floor. I was not feeling good at all. It turned out they had booked my scan in the satellite clinic by mistake (which I have never been to and is further away), so, they kindly squeezed me in this morning which meant a longer wait.
I’m glad they did, because I think I might actually have lost the plot if they’d told me to go home and come back another day.
Anyway, 40 minutes after arriving, I went into the scan room with a very happy nurse. She was all bubbly and excited and asked me all the usual questions, then told me to hop onto the scanning chair/bed thing.
There was a period of probably less than a minute where she said nothing.
And I waited.
And then she said, Okay good, let’s have a look shall we? And she turned the screen so I could see it.
She pointed out the amniotic sac, and then the yolk sac which is feeding the baby and explained both of those things to me. I was just lying there thinking yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all that WHAT ABOUT THE HEARTBEAT???
And finally she zoomed in/out and there it was. A little jelly bean with a flickering light at one end.
“That’s the heart. There’s a heartbeat?” I said
“Yes. That’s the heartbeat.” she confirmed.
And suddenly my own heart stopped racing so fast, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
She had a look at my ovaries and said I ovulated from the right side. She had another look at the baby and took some measurements and said that overall, it is early days and she can’t guarantee anything, but that everything looks exactly as it should. I am measuring 6w2d, and with the vagueness around the temps for the exact day I ovulated I had put myself between 6w1d and 6w3d, so that is just perfect.
Oh my goodness.
She said to me:
After that, I waited another long time to see the consultant (not my usual lady, but a very nice one nonetheless), who talked me through my tapering down dosages for my steroids. They are going to write to my GP so they can monitor my blood pressure and glucose levels until I finish the prednisolone, which is supposed to be at just after 10 weeks…
I can also finish the cyclogest (progesterone) at 10 weeks too.
She said Dr Bird was really happy for me as she’d spoken to her even though she wasn’t available. And then she said:
I was beginning to find it all a bit weird. People were talking to me like I was actually going to have a baby.
Finally I had a check up with the nurse and she did my BP and blood sugar, which were both fine.
I drove home like a bat out of hell so I could eat a plate of spaghetti bolognaise because I was so bloody hungry after being there all morning.
So here I sit, still stunned at how well everything seems to be going.
And it’s April Fool’s Day today – the day when stupid people post fake pregnancy announcements on Twitter and Facebook. And I wonder if life is having some great big joke on me after everything that’s happened…
But no. No big joke.
At least, not yet.
I’ve been staring at the scan photos she gave me, wondering what on earth the second black area is to the right of the sac. In a previous post I mentioned I had a dream that I went for the scan – well, in my dream they told me there were two babies, but only one had a heartbeat. I didn’t want to say anything at the time because I was worried about “jinxing” things somehow.
Well, looking at this picture, I”m wondering if that smaller area is the remains of a vanishing twin. I say that because a) my symptoms have been quite severe, quite early, and b) when I googled “vanishing twin ultrasound” there were several pictures that looked like this one. The sonographer said nothing about it though, and I didn’t ask at the time, because I didn’t notice it until later. I suppose if there was a twin, it wasn’t healthy enough to make it, but it would be weird if there was, because that’s exactly what I dreamt.