The night before last I was up at 1am, 2am, 3am and 5am. My youngest is teething and is still recovering from an ear infection (his first! too much swimming on holiday?).
Then 6.30am both boys are awake for real and want breakfast. Right now.
There is no waking up gently, slowly making yourself a cup of tea and easing yourself into the day. No sir – with small children to attend to you have to be up immediately and action any and all demands as soon as they arrive.
Combine this with a very broken night’s sleep and what do you get? In my case an irritable, impatient and miserable mummy.
Yesterday was not one of my best days as a mother. From having zero patience with my toddler to being relieved when the baby finally went down for a nap, I was just not very good at my job. Which meant an even more miserable toddler and baby (funny how they reflect your moods so accurately with their behaviour).
When I am tired the endless demands from a small person and brain piercing cries of a miserable baby seem almost impossible to deal with.
By the time DH came home, my eldest had gone up to bed with no stories for deliberately treading on his baby brother and I was thinking just one thing:
How on earth would I cope with three?
But today has been better. Smiles and happy faces at breakfast after a definite effort on my part not to have a repeat of the previous day.
It just goes to show that it really is all down to how you treat your children – what you do causes their responses, whether that is playfulness or naughtiness.
And that exhaustion that you feel – well you just have to find a way to deal with it. There’s no resigning, no walking away, no way at all to escape it. You have a commitment to being on duty 24/7 every single day. No matter what.
Even if you have three.
Especially if you have three.
Niggly back-ache still present and had to get up for the bathroom three times last night. I have a sneaky feeling I might be pregnant.