97.9

That was my temperature this morning.

It is the most ambiguous temperature in my cycle. Historically it tends to be the first post-O temp that I get. But it also makes an appearance a few times before ovulation. It’s like the mid-point of my body temperature, and my pre and post ovulation temps pivot around that point.

Which means that I am never really sure if I have ovulated when I get this reading in the middle of the month and so, we never really know whether we need to BD that evening or not.

It’s just annoying. Why can’t it just do a great big jump up to 98-something so I know for sure what’s going on?

So, here we are, CD16, trying not to obsess (but clearly failing), and wondering if I am going to be able to step away from ovulation next month.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog too, and wondering if a small part of my difficulty in moving on is because I love to write on here. It’s the only place, in the whole wide world, where I can sit and pour my heart out without fear of judgement or pity. It’s just a matter of fact record of what’s going on with me, and I like that a lot. It’s the only place I can write about my obsessions and fixations and not have to listen to people saying “don’t you think it’s time to let go?” or “it’s all for the best, just think how lucky you already are!”. I know these things, but that doesn’t change the way I think and the time that it takes to genuinely move on from these things without ending up in the loony bin.

So, to recreate this environment, I have been thinking about blogging more personal things under my real name, because I really do love to write about what I’m doing. But my main problem with that is that I don’t want my family and friends to read it.

Bah.

I have this need to talk about my feelings and to connect with others, but I can’t do it in real life. Crazy.

Yeah.

So that’s me on this rainy autumn morning.

CD12 Surprise Ovulation

I had a big temperature rise this morning, totally unexpectedly.

I usually get a couple of days of ovulation pain (at least), but by the end of yesterday I’d only had the faintest of sensations so figured ovulation was set for day 14.

When I checked the thermometer at 6am this morning I was astonished.

I ovulated on CD12 last month also, and spent the two week wait convinced I was pregnant.

This time around I know that no symptom, no temperature pattern, nothing, will indicate a pregnancy, so I won’t be looking for anything.

However, I am puzzled by this chart.

Not least because today I finally have my ovulation pain. It’s quite bad this month, and on the left (again). This always happens before ovulation, so could this morning’s temperature be a fluke? Maybe I am ill?? Am I ovulating twice?!

Who knows, but it’s not so bad to be in the two week wait two days early.

Period this cycle is due around 31st July (assuming luteal phase of 15, which is what I got last month on a CD12 ovulation cycle).

You might want to avoid visiting around that time unless you want to read all my self-pitying posts about how it hasn’t worked again 😉

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