Sounds more exciting than 9dpo, right?
Well, I caved. I tested. I thought: What the hell, it’s my last cycle, I’m gonna do whatever the hell I like, and if I want to POAS then I will.
Besides, my boobs are like two watermelons on my chest and I’ve got 3 spots on my chin.
So I did. With an extra-sensitive 12.5miu test.
It was, of course, a snowy white BFN 🙄
Because I’ve also made a list of things, of goals, of plans, that I will formalise at the end of this cycle. And you know what?
I’m actually a tiny bit excited about it.
About moving on.
About doing new things.
About not doing the baby thing, which I’ve been doing for almost four years non stop, including 18 month of fantasising about doing even more of the baby thing.
About getting all the baby stuff out of our house and standing up and grabbing the future and making it exciting again.
I have seen women almost destroyed by secondary infertility along this journey. I have read some heart-breaking stories and watched people, like myself, cry month after month after month.
It is a cruel thing.
T minus 5 days.