Starbucks

I am being victimised by Starbucks.
A couple of days ago I went in to get coffee before work and the conversation went something like this:

Server 1 Hello there, and how can I help you today?

fw I’d like a tall hot chocolate and a tall mocha please.

Server 1 A tall hot chocolate… (bashes at till), and er, what else did you say?

fw A mocha, a tall mocha please.

Server 1 (Looks confused) A what?

fw A mocha…?
(I have already had to Americanise my pronunciation of mocha, so I can’t imagine what else I am doing wrong in a sentence with only two words).

Server 1 OK… (bashes at till some more), that’ll be $4.85.

[Move to other counter to collect coffee]

Server 2 I’ve got a tall hot chocolate and a tall americano for… who is this for… someone called Stage?

fw Uh… that’s me – it’s Faye (eyeball bad handwriting on the cup), er… I didn’t order an americano.

Server 2 Oh…. so… who is this for?

fw Well, it’s probably a mistake – I ordered a mocha.

Server 2 A what?

fw A mocha.

Server 2 (Calls Server 3 over and explains the americano is not for me, but she doesn’t know who it is for)

Server 3 What did you order Miss?

fw A tall mocha.

Server 3 A what?

fw A mocha! a mokka! or however you say it out here!

Random woman It’s a mocha.

fw That’s what I said, a mocha.

Server 3 So whose is the americano?

fw It’s no ones! I ordered a mocha and you gave me an americano!

Server 3 explains this to Server 2, who still thinks someone is missing their americano. I wouldn’t mind, but even in the furthest stretches of my imagination I can’t understand how the words ‘mocha’ and ‘americano’ can be interchangable. They don’t even have the same number of syllables for god’s sake.

I eventually leave with a newly made mocha and the original hot chocolate.

This morning Steve and I go to the same Starbucks, where I refuse to speak to anyone, as I am frightened of being subjected to the repeated humiliation of saying the word mocha 15 times in one morning just to get a coffee.

Server 1 Hello there, and how can I help you today?

Steve I’d like a tall mocha and a tall hot chocolate please

Server 1 That’ll be $4.85 please

[Move to other counter to collect coffee]

Server 2 I’ve got a tall hot chocolate and a tall mocha for Steve.

2 thoughts on “Starbucks

  1. tee hee, that’s a really funny story. sorry probably not for you though.

    ah brings back memories of coffee raids to the local Starbucks in Santa Clara, I used to get a triple shot latte 🙂

    oh, hi Faye glad to hear you’ve been having fun.

    • Triple shot eh? You caffiene fiend.

      I can’t actually bring myself to go in there any more. In fact, it happens in most places I go – maybe I have a steadily increasing speech impediment that everyone is too polite to mention?!

Leave a reply