Running Away Anger | C25K Week 3 Complete

moon
The moon during my cool-down walk.

And in the blink of an eye I’ve finished week three!

Tonight’s run was medicine of the best kind.

DH was late home from work (after being rear-ended at a roundabout!), and then had to spend ages on the phone to the insurance company. I was totally exhausted after a trying day with the boys, but took over Daddy-duty of a game of bowling on the xbox with DS1 (it’s their nightly man-ritual, I don’t question it), and then reading bedtime stories, and trying to get DS1 into bed, all the while watching the clock and getting more and more irate that I couldn’t get out for my run and stressing about how late we would end up eating dinner, etc. etc.

And as you can imagine, as soon as DS1 realized that Daddy wasn’t available and Mummy wanted to go for a run, he slowed down to almost a complete stop. After the third time DS1 stuck and unstuck the nolvelty sucky-feet on the bottom of his toothbrush to the sink I grabbed it from him, put toothpaste on it and shoved it back in his hand.

Result?

Massive crying.

You’re being too rough Mummeeee!!!!

Which, of course, only served to make me feel awful and yet more angry all at the same time.

By the time I’d calmed him down and done a special carry to his bed, even more time had been wasted and I was a boiling pot of rage on the inside (yeah, I get like that – I blame my parents), and it was probably a good thing that DH was still on the phone and not actually able to speak to me, else he would have suffered a rant on the impossibility of getting a 3 year old into bed at a reasonable time and the unfairness of someone driving into him at this time of night.

I dashed out of the door and spent the first five minutes stomping along the pavement thinkingΒ Oh for god’s sake, how long is this warm-up going to last, I need to RUN dammit!!!!

And then, at last, podcast-lady tells me to run at a ‘steady pace’.

I sprint off as fast as I can, feet pounding, arms pumping, angry thoughts streaming through my brain about every time I’ve ever been wronged and how much crap I’ve had to tolerate in 38 years of life… (yeah, I get like that too). And it felt GREAT to run. I mean it! GREAT GREAT GREAT!

It was like all the adrenaline was getting used up, firing up muscles, powering me along the road. Just awesome.

I killed every running interval tonight and at the end of it I felt great.

My overall average pace was slower because I did a longer warm-down walk (I figured I needed it, even though by that point I was feeling all calm and serene again), but I loved tonight’s run.

And I came home and was nice to DH, and we had dinner, and everything was OK.

So there we go – two lessons:

  1. Running washes your anger away like paint in a fast flowing stream.
  2. There really is no need to get so worked up about everything in the first place πŸ˜‰

11 thoughts on “Running Away Anger | C25K Week 3 Complete

  1. Just curious – the pod cast, is it free? Did you find an APP for your iphone? I want to be a runner, but I’m totally not. Never have been. Someone talking me through the beginning stages might help me.

    Hoping for a much smoother evening for you!

    • Hiya! Yes – it’s all free πŸ™‚ I have an iphone and I use a brilliant running app called RunKeeper. Search for it and download it on the app store. You can set it up to play playlists on your phone while running and the accuracy of the GPS route and distance is pretty good. It also has a ton of stats, which I love as I’m quite numbers-oriented.
      For the couch to 5k plan, I’m using the NHS podcast series, which is available for free here: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/c25k/Pages/couch-to-5k-plan.aspx
      The easiest way to get it on your iphone is to download an apple app called Podcasts (free). Then search for the NHS couch to 5k podcast and subscribe to it. All the podcasts are then downloaded onto your phone.
      To listen to the podcast AND use Runkeeper, make sure none of your other apps are running (as they are both pretty heavy users of memory), start the podcast, then start Runkeeper and make sure that for playlists you have selected ‘None’.
      Then off you go!
      Podcast talks you through the whole run, with music, and tells you when to stop and start running, and Runkeeper gives you lots of lovely stats at the end.

  2. Thanks for the post. I can certainly relate to the anger and frustration. I have 2 boys, 6 and 2 in age and they drive me insane! I am yet to find an appropriate outlet for my anger (at the moment is shouting at them, which is very bad)….maybe I’ll take up running as well.

    • I hate it when I shout. Oh it’s just horrible – but sometimes I really can’t help it and I don’t know how else to deal with what I’m feeling! I’m trying really hard at the moment not to raise my voice over anything, but it is so hard.

  3. I’m glad your husband is okay! Sorry you had that kind of evening. I can relate to the anger/frustration from when our kids were younger. I promise: bedtime gets easier as they get older!!! πŸ˜‰
    I’m so happy you are enjoying running so much! XO

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ You know how little ones are – as soon as they detect your distraction or impatience they will do anything to get the focus back on them!

  4. Hi Rose! I’ve been meaning to comment on this for a while now. Seems like feast or famine on blog time for me these days…

    In January, a friend of mine committed suicide. The evening that I found out, I went for a run. I ran through my anger at her and my helplessness. Then I found a point in the run that I realized I wasn’t angry or sad any more. My mind felt completely clear. And I let her go. I let her spirit go run with her horses. An hour later, I looked at my GPS and found that I had gone five miles. Didn’t even know it.

    It made it much easier to face all the events afterward. The questions. The memorial service. I felt cleansed somehow. I still grieved, I think. I missed her. But something magical happened in that run and it made me stronger emotionally.

    Running was (and still is) a great therapy for me. I’m pretty sure if you run a google search on “exercise and prozac” that you’ll find a New York Times article stating that exercise has the same effect as prozac on the brain. It is linked to some big fancy clinical study. I read it in a brain book. I think the title of the book is Spark. (Sorry I’m so reference deficient here…).

    I wish you great and lasting peace as you run and grow. It might be a day or two before I get to respond to your most recent post about emotional clutter so I want to tell you here that I am so proud of you. I really think you are on the right track (pun intended) in your life. You inspire me, beautiful, strong woman.

    Light and love to you, Rose Who Rocks (and Runs!).

    • Thank you. I am so sorry to hear of your friend – what a terrible thing πŸ™ Running is amazing isn’t it? And five miles is brilliant. I think you are right – something happened on that run that gave you peace. I’m glad, because the aftermath of suicide must be such a difficult time. I love the way you phrase things – letting her spirit go run with her horses. Lordy woman, is there a novel anywhere in your plan, cause I’m gonna be the first to buy it.

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