Place Your Bets Now

I did a pregnancy test today. Why? Because my temperature dropped a little this morning. Why did I take my temperature? Because I’ve gone back to temping since I had spotting.

And?

My test line was lighter. At 29dpo it was lighter than at 24dpo.

Logic says that lighter test = less HCG in sample.

However, googling for this turns up lots of threads about lighter tests in early pregnancy and the so-called hook affect where a higher level of HCG actually results in a fainter line.

Apparently, you can test this theory yourself by dipping two tests, one in 100% urine and one in 50% urine, 50% water.

Being scientifically minded, this is exactly what I did next.

And?

Both lines were about the same and they were all lighter than my line 5 days ago.

So much for the hook affect.

So, as I count down the hours until the ultrasound reveals all, I am weighing up the signs that tomorrow will go well, against the signs that tomorrow will go badly.

Positives:

I have some degree of nausea.
My belly is definitely bigger.
My boobs are sore, every day.
I’ve had no cramping.
Implantation occured during the best window for chances of success.
I’ve carried two successful pregnancies to term.
My early tests showed excellent progression of line colour.
I’ve had no dark brown spotting (unlike my miscarriages).

Negatives:

I am 39.
I am nowhere near as tired as I was with DS1 and DS2 at this stage.
I’ve had increasing amounts of lower backache – more miscarriage than pregnancy in my experience.
I’ve had three days with some red spotting.
My uterus feels sore and swollen.
I’ve lost 6 pregnancies previously.
My temperature was down this morning.
My pregnancy tests are now showing a lighter line.

What is my gut feeling?

I really don’t know anymore.

It has been, pretty consistently, a good feeling.

But tonight I’m not so sure.

When I had my scan at 11.5 weeks that showed my missed miscarriage, I honestly believed everything was ok until the actual words of apology came out of the consultant’s mouth.

I am a hopeless optimist. When things go wrong I am never prepared for the emotional impact of the blow.

I know that I will be sat on the hospital bench tomorrow and 99% of me will be expecting a heartbeat and a baby that sizes correctly for my dates.

Yet I could be barrelling toward a sudden and bloody miscarriage with no idea that it is about to happen.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s the end of my self-analysis. It is a relief that tomorrow I will be dealing with facts and numbers, and not feelings and estimates.

It’s been a long 3 weeks – and probably not just for me, eh?

Thank you for all your words of encouragement and support.

11 thoughts on “Place Your Bets Now

  1. I have had two miscarriages before so I have been in the same boat where I keep taking tests to see if the line gets lighter because that’s what happened with the miscarriages. The line got lighter with my DS and he’s sleeping in his crib right now. I’m also pregnant right now and the line got lighter with this one as well. Just like with DS, there was a strong healthy heartbeat at my 6week ultrasound. My temps dropped too, I was and still do over analyze it all! It’s so hard not to. Thinking of you and praying for a strong healthy heartbeat tomorrow and at all your appointments <3

    • Thank you for sharing this. Those lighter lines are scary. So good to hear that someone saw this when everything was ok. Gives me a little more hope! X

    • Hey Rose, have you ever had your progesterone levels checked. I’m reading a lot about that at the moment and it can be a thing as you get older. Just throwing it in the mix. I know you do heaps of research so I’m sure you’ve looked into this if you think it’s you. X

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