Pelican Eats Pigeon

10. No really, it did.

This was on the BBC news website today. The RSPB man said “Their diet should be stricly fish”, but I guess the pelican was bored with his usual menu and decided a dry, feathery, pecker would be a much nicer dinner instead.

This reminded me of something I saw ages ago about an alligator, so for your reading pleasure today I’ve made my top 10 list of I’ve Got Eyes Bigger Than My Belly And I Don’t Care stories. With the Pelican the latest entry at number 10, feast your eyes on this lot.

9. Teacher’s plan to feed pups to snake
OK, not really an actual eating, but the photo montage is particularly effective, with the cute, scared-looking, big eyed puppy in a cage.

8. Frog eats bat, no wait… bat eats frog!
I guess that’s what happens to rock-climbing frogs and bats that like a quick dip in the pond.

7. Praying mantis eats hummingbird
Yuk. And to think I saved a mantis in Australia once. If I’d have known I was handling a bird-killer I would have done more than put it in a seethrough plastic bag to take it outside.

6. Python eats electric blanket
Shocking. I’m guessing it was switched on at the time – the snake must’ve thought it had hit the jackpot while it was swallowing the warm, fluffly blanket. “Yum yum, ah just love this snack someone’s left lying on the bed here…”

5. Python eats alligator and explodes
A bad ending for all involved really.

4. Snake eats person
Eugh. I’m not sure what’s worse – the possibility that the photos are real, or the possibility that a man actually crawled that far into a dead python in order to fake it.

3. Python eats pregnant sheep
OK, lets face it, pythons just eat everything. If I’d known this back in 2000, I wouldn’t have climbed into that bush to take a picture of one that was resting there (”python eats stupid tourist, and camera“). And while we’re on the subject I also wouldn’t have gone snorkelling in that rock pool back in 1997 that contained the lion fish (”stupid tourist dies while swimming with lion fish“), not to mention regretting the time I got out of the safari truck to look at the crocodiles sunbathing on the river bank (”stupid tourist vanishes while on safari“), or the time I sauntered past a baboon because he was just sitting on the narrow path in front of me (”tourist loses leg to hungry monkey“). Now that I am older, and aware of how dangerous these things are, I go to Cornwall on holiday.

2. Shark eats granny
Oh I know – it’s not funny. But you’ve got to love the evocative journalism: “Her red swimming cap floating on the swell was all that was left.”

1. Heron eats rabbit
No no no no, oh god no! Look at that cute little bunny – what was the heron thinking??

And finally, only because it highlights how pathetic we are in comparison to the brutal yet entertaining world of nature:

Man eats 13 cockroaches to win iPod

Sigh. Aren’t you just proud to be human?

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