I know I’m obsessing, because I find myself randomly googling for things like “late first trimester miscarriage” and “natural pregnancy at 39”.
Things are obviously on my mind.
I found a statistic today, from the Miscarriage Association:
A heartbeat at 8 weeks increases the chance of a continuing pregnancy to 98% and at 10 weeks that goes up to 99.4%.
I had a heartbeat at 10 weeks 4 days.
So, I was in the 0.6% (last time).
I think this is all playing on my mind because other people seem to be having babies and (the thing I dread the most) announcing pregnancies everywhere at the moment. Actually, who am I kidding? It’s been like this since we started trying back in 2012.
Eugh. I really just want to get away from myself when I’m like this.
Over-thinking everything. Over-analysing.
I’ve always been too much of a thinker.
I wish I had womb-cam so I could see what was going on in there.
I thought about joining a group in the two week wait on Fertility Friend, but then they’ll probably all get BFPs and send me into a spiral of self-pity. I’ve stayed well away from the forums there for the best part of this year.
I don’t even really know why I’m writing this, other than because it makes me feel like I’m somehow doing something about waiting to see if I’m pregnant.
I might just go and do a pregnancy test, out of sheer mindless boredom and stupidity. Then I’ll have a nice negative baseline ready for next week. Ha ha ha.
I really need to get out more.