Not Quite Back at Work Yet

Well, I was supposed to be going back to work (3 days a week) tomorrow, but I’m going to email my manager later and confirm that I won’t start until next Tuesday. He was pretty understanding about the whole thing and said to take as much time as I needed.

DS2 has not managed a full day at nursery yet. After the sickness bug last week, I took him in yesterday for four hours in the morning. When I collected him they told me enthusiastically how he’d “eaten all his food!”, which I thought was odd, given his appetite has been tiny since he stopped being sick.

When we got home and the car stopped DS2 sicked up everything he’d eaten – oh the mess it made, you would not believe.

It took me the best part of an hour to clean him, the car, the car seat and finally me.

He was fine afterwards and has been fine today, so my guess is that they just overfed him. Some people don’t see the subtle cues babies give when they have had enough. They top them up until they are full to bursting and with DS2, who’s always been a little on the refluxy side, it just comes straight back up.

I’ll have a word with them when I take him in next Tuesday for hopefully his first day, but in the meantime he’s staying home with me. He’s been very clingy and I think he’s feeling a bit insecure. Oh, it’s so hard leaving them and going back to work! It’s more the length of time than the actual leaving.┬áIf it was a few hours here and there, I would manage much better, but for me to do a full day in the office it seems like DS1 and DS2 are on their own for an eternity.

The trouble is, I have a well paying job, and despite nursery care for two it still brings in a decent amount of money each month. We just don’t feel secure enough for me to leave work for good (and a small part of me wants to go back because I love what I do, but that’s a whole different subject).

Well, after yesterday’s sick disaster and my stress about going to work on Friday, I ended up sharing a bottle of wine with DH last night.

We opted not to have a takeaway, which is pretty good, as in recent months we’ve been ordering food two, sometimes three, times a week. So although dinner was healthy, I felt a little concerned about the wine. But – today I’m straight back into the saddle and have had muesli for breakfast and a big salad for lunch.

I’m on a run of 13 days of big, protein and carb filled salads and no sugar. My goal is to get to 30 days – I think I’ll see real improvements by that point. I can feel I’m losing weight now, which is good because I’m still around 5kg heavier than before I had children. It’s also interesting that I’m losing weight despite still eating full fat milk, cheese, meat, eggs, and bread. Sugar really is a killer.

Wondering, and hoping, if this month will be the month I get pregnant.

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