My Birthday

Sorry I haven’t replied to comments – it’s been a busy couple of days. But they mean such a lot to me – they are a lifeline of comfort in a world where I can’t share our story.

So, first of all, I am still pregnant.

I am also still bleeding!

Thankfully, whatever the outcome at this point, I managed to celebrate my 40th without the devastation of miscarrying on the day. And it was truly a wonderful birthday.

So, let me tell you what’s happened over the last 48 hours:

On the evening before my birthday I had more red bleeding before bed and feared the worst. When I woke up I took my temperature: 98.5. Thankfully it was still high, so I knew I probably wouldn’t pass the pregnancy that day.

We opened presents at breakfast, I had cuddles with my boys, we got everyone ready for school and the in-laws arrived. We did school drop off, then came home, packed a bag, said goodbye to hubby’s parents and headed off for the day.

I was mentally in the mindset that everything was over, so we decided to go to a new climbing centre because I’ve been wanting to try it for ages. By the time we got there I was bleeding a little red blood again, which just confirmed to me that I should do what I wanted and not worry about the pregnancy.

After an hour’s climbing, we were exhausted (man, it is hard work!), so we went for lunch. After that we did some shopping and checked in at the hotel. I had quite a lot more red bleeding there so we just watched a series on iPlayer and then got ready for dinner.

In the evening I had just short of two glasses of champagne with dinner and it was a wonderful meal. Back at the hotel there was a lot more red, and (tmi) lots of mucus, so we watched some more TV in the bed and I went to sleep fully expecting to miscarry the next day. I was just relieved that it hadn’t interfered with our day.

The next morning I took my temperature: 98.7.

I was surprised. My temperature was higher than it had been for two days. I pondered it all over breakfast and although I had some more red bleeding in the morning, it was less than the previous day.

That’s when I started to wonder about alternative causes for the bleeding. You see, all my mcs have been preceeded with brown spotting. Once I saw red, that was the showdown. But this time I’ve had red blood for four days… And it seemed to come in fits and starts. Nothing for hours, then a whoosh, like something inside me was bleeding…

I did some reading online and remembered that a friend of mine had had a subchorionic hematoma (SCH), in her pregnancy. I looked this up and they are suspected of being the cause in up to half of first trimester bleeds. Apparently around 30% of women get them, with no discernable cause.

OMG. Was it possible that this pregnancy stood a chance?

I read as many stories as I could find online of women who had suffered an SCH. They were all so similar – on and off red bleeding, usually starting in weeks 5-7.

Rest (even bedrest) is recommended by most docs for SCH, so this morning I decided to take things really easy and see what happened. I’ve had a gentle day, hubby collected the kids from school after we got home today and I’ve done no cleaning, tidying, unpacking or anything.

And I’ve had hardly any bleeding today.

Now, I don’t know if that’s just a coincidence, or a psychosomatic thing, but I’ve had 9 days of bleeding now and still no miscarriage.

I did a cleablue pregnancy test, with weeks indicator this afternoon and it said 2-3 weeks pregnant. It counts from ovulation and I’m 4 weeks from then, not 3, so I don’t know what to think about that.

At least it didn’t say 1-2 weeks.

So tonight (trying not to think about the climbing yesterday afternoon, or the champagne), I’ll be taking it easy and laying out my thermometer ready for tomorrow morning.

As ever, the wait continues.

12 thoughts on “My Birthday

  1. That sounds promising? I don’t remember if you mentioned already, but are you able to do voluntary beta testing to at least see if the numbers are heading in the right direction?

  2. Happy Birthday! I went to write a message in Facebook and realised you are behind in time and then I didn’t get back there later in the day. Boo! I’m so glad you had a lovely birthday and nothing terrible happened. Crossing all my bits for you that this little one continues to hang on xxx

    • Thank u! Gawd, so am I. I can’t work out if I’m brave or just deluding myself. Just gotta press on with each day and take what comes…

  3. Happy that you enjoyed your birthday!! Sorry you’re dealing with all this other stuff though. I hope you get some sort of answers and peace of mind soon.

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