Fairly Certain I’m Out

Given the Complete Radio Silence I’ve had from my uterus in the first half of this two week wait, I’m 99.9% certain I’m out this month. I know my body so well by now (and have been pregnant so many times, sigh), that I just kind of know when it hasn’t worked.

Not a single twinge or cramp at all, boobs are still asleep, so nothing is going on in there.

Had a big chat with DH last night about it all. The length of time we’ve been trying, my impending 40th birthday, how everyone keeps asking me what I’ll be doing for my 40th (peeing on a stick, probably), etc. etc.

All highly depressing.

I’m actually angry at my body for failing this month – I really thought it was going to work. I really, really thought this was going to be it.

Now I feel like I’ve been conned.

Anyway, DH suggested I try soy isoflavones (natures clomid, right?). I’ve avoided this for 2.5 years because I didn’t think it would help me, but to be honest doing what I am doing isn’t helping me, so why the hell not?

DH’s reasoning is that maybe a push for ovulation, especially if we got >1 egg, would increase the chances – kind of like two months condensed into one. Maybe one of those eggs would be a good one, rather than having to wait each month for just one egg (that in all likelihood is a crap one).

Yeah, I’m not sure about the logic either, but what the hell.

So, off I go to the internet, and I’ve ordered some high quality, non-gmo soy isoflavones this morning (from Solgar), ready to use next cycle.

BIG SIGH.

In other news, we have decided to ask for vegetable gardening things (raised beds, trowels, organic compost) from all our relatives for Christmas because next year we are going to grow as much of our own as we can (in our teeny, tiny back garden). I’m very excited about the prospect of growing something (since growing a baby seems to be impossible), and kind of like the idea of all that fertile soil and lush green produce that I’m hoping we’re going to get. Hell, I’m even thinking of setting up a worm farm.

7 thoughts on “Fairly Certain I’m Out

  1. Oooooo interesting about nature’s clomid. I hadn’t heard of that. I’m getting radio silence over here too. *sigh* but refuse to give up all hope yet. At least I don’t feel like I’m getting my period which I did by this time last month so that’s something (and prob reason for the hope). Have fun in the garden x

  2. I’m sorry it doesn’t seem like things are working out this month. Sounds like trying the soy isoflavones is at least worth a shot. I had never heard of that before either. At least with your garden you have something to look forward to, maybe it will keep your mind busy as well. Keep plugging along!

  3. Well, I’ve never heard of these isoflavones, either, but I’m sure you’ve thoroughly investigated any risks or downsides (knowing you!) so I say, what the heck. It definitely can’t hurt. And actually, I totally get your DH’s logic. It totally sounds like something I would say. Hang in there, and I’m thinking of you as always. xoxo

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