Have you noticed how when things become overwhelming, and you just have too much to do, your productivity starts to fail?
Once I lose my position from being relatively on top of things, I slide down and down until I am doing practically nothing, sat in a messy house, the kids running crazy, paperwork mountain on my desk, kitchen a mess, a million things in my head, birthdays, gifts and cards fall by the wayside, everything just crumbles.
Nothing seems worth starting because ALL of it seems too impossible to tackle. I know that doing something is better than doing nothing, but I develop analysis-paralysis and cannot seem to approach even the most mundane of tasks.
That’s where I am right now.
To be honest, I have brought this on myself. In the wake of so much purging and sorting, and the emotional void that decluttering can leave behind, I decided to take on writing a book. I contacted a publisher who I thought might be interested in a technical text and they said yes – great!
I am nowhere near ready to commit to a big project like this.
It is too much, too soon, at a time when I still need to be working through my own personal issues in the wake of having so much extra space around me.
Here are the things I need to deal with:
- I logged into my bank after 2 months of procrastination and am almost £1000 overdrawn. Doh.
- I have a massive in-tray full of forms and things I am supposed to have returned.
- I have neglected this blog.
- This book proposal is taking FOREVER. The technical stuff is taking up massive amounts of time and everything is else is just falling apart.
- The house is dirty. Every room is filthy. Windows covered in grime, surfaces covered in dust. How the hell do people keep their houses tidy??
- The bathroom warrants its own entry because last time I cleaned it, it took 4 hours.
- The house is a mess.
- The fridge and pantry are out of control (we’ve eaten out or takeaway for 3 days in a row)
- I am a mess – my legs need shaving! My hair is crazy! My feet need some TLC!
- We still haven’t got carpet on the stairs and upstairs hall, because we still haven’t got the man in to fix the skirting and other bits and bobs.
And the only thing I can really focus on, or worry about, is the book proposal.
With two small children running around, Mr Tech home from work this week, my Dad over on Friday, my Mum on Wednesday, this week has been a write off. I have achieved hardly anything.
I need more time.
I need more time to focus on maintaining life, let alone achieving new things.
I can’t afford (nor do I want) additional childcare, and we have no family that can help us with the kids.
What do I do? Stop sleeping?
If I find a solution, I’ll let you know.
[UPDATE – June 2014]
I later realised I’d made a mistake by trying to take on a huge project like writing a technical book, and so, it was no more. This is one of the pitfalls of decluttering. Do not feel you have to fill the space you create as soon as you have created it.