Conversations With My 4 Year Old

After tonight’s (glowing) parents evening:

Me: So, after all that, Mummy was very proud and impressed sweetie.
DS1: But you’re still a bit sad about that baby.
Me: Erm, yes… I am a little bit…
DS1: But when are you going to cheer up about that baby?
Me: Erm… [deep breath] how about tomorrow. I’ll try and cheer up about it tomorrow, ok?
DS1 nods: Ok.

Yes. Exactly. See how wonderfully simple life is when you are four?

10 thoughts on “Conversations With My 4 Year Old”

    • Oh my goodness. I cried when I read that. I know so much of what she writes. The longing for a bigger family. The feeling of growing up in a silent, small family (I had a brother but my parents were so emotionally absent it was pretty much like there were just the two of us). The ghostly manifestations of children around the house that are missing.
      But in saying all of that, if there was a concrete reason for us to stop trying, it would be somehow… easier. If I had a disease, or a reproductive condition, or any one of a million things that are known to affect fertility, we could maybe draw a line in the sand. But since no one can find anything wrong with me, I am not overweight, my diet is good, I don’t use chemicals in the home or on my body, and I’ve never really had any health issues (apart from this weird heart thing they are going to check out), I can never shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, I’ve had a run of terrible bad luck, and the next try might have been the one that worked.
      The not knowing. It’s soul destroying.

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