Day 2 Skin Detox

I slept better last night. I still woke up in the night, but not so restless. My fitbit says I slept 9hr33min (wow!), with 93% sleep efficiency.

Breakfast was lemon water, and a spoon of blackstrap molasses, followed by an unsweetened almond milk, raspberry (low GI) and chia seed smoothie.

 
  

It’s the first time I’ve ever had chia seeds and I have to say I wasn’t really looking forward to the white gloop this morning (I soaked them in almond milk overnight). However, they are DELICIOUS! I’m not kidding – absolutely gorgeous. I am a total convert. In fact, adding the raspberries hid the delicate taste, so I’ll eat them separately next time.

Snack time I had cucumber, apple and olives, as yesterday (no pic). However, I did feel nauseous after the olives, and still hungry, so I ate a handful of brazils as well.

I’ve still got sinus pain on the right side of my face and this morning felt really tired. I think I need more food early on – or more protein at least.

Lunch was a prawn, raddish and sugar snap salad with a ginger dressing and sesame seeds. It was pretty good:

 
Then I finally had enough energy for a 30min walk.

At about 3pm I had carrot and sunflower seeds again.

 

Then I did another 30min walk (the joys of the weekend and the husband available to babysit!).

For dinner we had what we call fajita rice. It’s basically rice mixed with veg and sometimes meat (or sometimes mushrooms, but tonight we had chicken), and fajita spices. I also made a batch of guacamole which is quite possibly the most amazing food on earth. For the guac I use avocado, lime, garlic and tomato, plus a dash of rock salt:

  
  
I felt calm and clear-headed in the afternoon and my energy was much better.

I was a bit peckish before bed as we ate early, so I had a glass of almond milk with a few chia seeds (my new most favourite drink ever).

It’s early days but my skin hasn’t gotten any worse and no new spots, hurrah!

Time outside: 1h8m

Total steps: 10,879 (yay!)

No real cravings today, which I think is mostly down to meticulous advance meal and snack planning. 

The misery zone awaits (days 3-6).  

Day 1 Skin Detox

Annoyingly, my trusty fitbit didn’t record my sleep last night. It was a restless night and I slept for about 7 hours.

Started the day with lime water and a teaspoon of blackstrap molasses (yes, I know that’s sugar, haha! It’s also chock full of minerals, so my exception to the rule).

  
Then for breakfast proper I had hash browns (ready made, but no dodgy ingredients), mushrooms fried in coconut oil and baked tomatoes:

  

I felt really nauseous after breakfast. Just awful. I think it was the hash browns, so might substitute those next time. At about 10:30 I had a snack of olives, apple and cucumber (yeah, not something I would have thought was great either, but with dairy and dips all out, it wasn’t too bad):

 
I went for a 30 min walk before lunch and my legs felt like lead. I was so TIRED.  I also had a headache (sugar withdrawal), along with some pain on the right side of my face where my sinusitis still hasn’t completely cleared.

Back at home I made a broccoli, pumpkin seed and goji berry thing:

 
But I was hungry again two hours later:

  

After eating the carrot and sunflower seeds I started to feel better. Still really tired, but not as grumpy and ill. And kind of calmer.

I did a second 30 min walk and at about 6pm we had a very comforting sweet potato and mushroom curry:

 
I spent 1hr55m outside in total, and covered 10404 steps – yay!

Am off to bed at 8pm (now) because I am just totally worn out. Feel good though for planning out everything meticulously – it was easy not to stray as I had food organised for each meal/snack. No cravings really so far.

9 Weeks – Pulling Myself Together

Psychologically, reaching 9 weeks was a big deal this morning. Over the last week I even dreamt I was bleeding so it was really heavily preying on my mind.

I don’t want to tempt fate, but I feel just a tiny bit more secure at this point. We’ve passed the period that the majority of first tri miscarriages happen in, and I’ve only lost a baby later than this once, so I think we’re getting onto safer ground.

Meds wise, I am off the progesterone (they said any time after 8 weeks was fine, but gave me enough for ten. I didn’t feel like I needed it at all, and was so glad to stop – massive hurrah for that), and I’m now tapering the prednisolone.

Symptoms wise I am suffering diarrhea still, and I didn’t realise it can be a withdrawal symptom from the prednisolone. My whole gut just seems to ache and I’ve woken up with cramps the last two mornings. So, I’m still highly dubious of the meal we had on Saturday, but the steroid withdrawal is probably not helping things.

I’ve also worked out that my sickness is correlated with WHAT I eat. Anything sugary or carb-heavy leaves me wanting to cry and confined to the sofa/bed trying not to move because the nausea is so bad. If I eat fruit, veg, or protein (cheese, nuts or meat), I get a peak of sickness about an hour after eating but it is manageable and subsides. It’s taken me ages to work this out because I have been eating everything in sight, non-stop.

I’m now a) trying to be more mindful and not eat just because I feel ill (counter-intuitive, but it’s like constant hangover sickness that you think a fry-up will cure). And b) really think carefully about whether I want it before I put anything in my mouth. I’ve also started the protocol outlined in the book I mentioned before. I’ve gotten into really bad habits, even drinking soda (which I NEVER touch), because I’m thirsty but water makes me feel ill. My stomach aches, my skin has started to suffer and I just feel horrible most of the day. I’m hoping 30 days of strictly plants and organic meat will sort out my insides. We’ll see. Even if I can’t stick to it completely, it should get me back on track to better eating again.

So, all is, quite miraculously, well.

My absolute gratitude, and shock that we are where we are is overwhelming at times. I literally cannot believe that this is happening, after everything. After three years of loss, loss, loss, this is just such a huge thing to process. I know there is still a LONG way to go, and anything can (and frequently does) happen, but so far things couldn’t have been any smoother. I am terrified of enjoying it. I am terrified of losing it. But most of all, I am starting to develop genuine hope that I’ll actually be bringing a baby home in 7 months.

The universe has slapped me down at this point before… but until that happens, we move forward in little 24 hour blocks, edging slowly towards a future I had accepted was never going to happen.

I Got Glutened

In just over a week I will have been gluten free for one year.

Last night we went out to dinner with some friends that we haven’t seen for ages. Now, they chose the place, which was a local pub, and I phoned the pub a few days ago to make sure they did gluten free food. They reassured me that they did.

Well, on the night it turned out that they actually only had one gluten free dish on the entire menu (out of all the starters, mains and desserts). And I only figured that out after the waitress finally offered me the “allergen menu”. Why she didn’t just give that to me at the beginning I don’t know, but before that appeared she also told me the burgers were gluten free, and the allergen menu indicated that they weren’t. AND she told me she could replace my burger bun for a ciabatta, which is what they did for another “gluten-free girl” that came in before. A ciabatta?????? Last time I checked, ciabattas were made with WHEAT flour, right??

Don’t even get me started on the fact that coeliac disease is NOT an allergy, but an autoimmune condition.

Anyway, I ordered my food and ate it. It was okay (vegetable bubble and squeak, which is made with mashed potato), with egg and spinach. Yeah, not the greatest sounding dish, but I was starving by this point. After eating it my nausea was terrible – really severe. We went home and I was exhausted and went straight to sleep.

This morning I had to get up straight away for the loo. Three times before lunch I had to go, and it was runny and full of mucus – horrible yellow globby stuff. I felt absolutely dreadful until mid-afternoon.

Now, I don’t know for sure that there was gluten in my food, but it was in every other dish so I’m wondering if the one I ate was mislabelled. Or maybe the food was just not great, but the first thing I thought when I was sat on the toilet this morning was That wasn’t a gluten free meal.

Of course then I panicked about the baby and scrabbled around for the doppler to find the heartbeat. It took three whole, agonising minutes before I found it (even using it freaks me out because I’m scared it’s not good for the baby – although I can’t find any evidence to support that – at the moment it’s the lesser of two evils). During which I basically relived the whole episode of not being able to find it last time (which was also over a weekend) and going for a scan afterwards to discover it was gone.

I’m trying not to give too much thought to the fact that the heartbeat sounded fainter today… It could well be my imagination, or I guess he could just be in a different position.

I’ve had accidents before – with soy sauce and once with some “wheat free” crackers that weren’t gluten free (!), but never a reaction like this one.

I have never been so grateful to take my prednisolone as I was this morning. I am hoping that any reaction will be tempered by it and not freak out my unstable immune system.

I have actually been really worried about tapering off the steroid and my body going into overdrive and hurting the pregnancy, so I’ve been reading this book:

  

It is absolutely brilliant. She explores the science behind inflammation and how diet affects our bodies. She has a 30 day “healing” plan that you can follow, which I’m thinking of doing (she says it’s safe for pregnancy). She is massively anti-gluten and explains how even if you aren’t coeliac it can cause leaky-gut and trigger any one of dozens of autoimmune disorders.

Really compelling (if you’re into science-y diet books like me).

So, all in all, things seem to be okay. I’m still running at anxiety level high because of where I am (bang in the middle time period between two awful miscarriages), but each day is a day closer to the exit.

%d bloggers like this: