Getting Better

F woke up every single hour from 9pm to 4am last night. I kept an eye on her temperature and got very little sleep. She woke up and asked for water every time until 4am. Then she puked everywhere.

Oh man. She was in the bed with me, so it wasn’t even contained within her cot. After a major clear up job, I think we both finally slept between 5:30 and 7.

At 7:30, as the boys were asking for breakfast she puked all over the sofa with the water I’d given her (she was crying for a drink).

Then L dropped his breakfast bowl on the floor and it smashed to pieces. I finally got everyone out the door and drove up to the school and to the bus stop. I asked a mum from each school to see each of the boys in and took F home. Thankfully no sick in the car.

She wanted to go back to bed, so I did also, only to be woken by the shopping delivery coming 40 minutes earlier than the allotted timeslot. Sigh!

But F woke up then and seemed a bit brighter and her headache had gone. She lasted until 2 and slept again til 4.

Steve took the boys swimming and she’s in bed now (7:30pm). No sick for 11.5 hours, so hopefully the worst is over. She is a lot happier than she was yesterday. I am SO relieved, and my stress levels have gone right back down, which I am very grateful for.

The Raw Food Diet

Long, long ago, one of the things I started blogging about was the raw food diet and trying to eat a greater proportion of raw food. Somehow amid the craziness of the last few years my raw food quest has gotten lost. Although it was never forgotten. While all raw is a bit extreme, I would definitely like to be eating way more salads and fresh juices and smoothies.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, especially since I’m on an enforced 3 solid meals a day regime with my Invisalign. We’ve been a vegetarian household for a while now (not sure of the last meat we all ate, but sometime in January). I have also been aware that sometimes I eat a vegan meal inadvertently, which I am pleased about. However, sugar and alcohol have always been my achilles heel(s), and I could just never see a way to get really fit and healthy until I cracked both of these things.

Well, it seems the alcohol has finally (mostly) run its course and just doesn’t hold the appeal it once did. And the sugar habit has been forcefully smashed to pieces by my braces.

My energy levels are more stable than they have been for ages, and I can now go 5 or 6 hours without eating without having a physical or emotional meltdown. Sugar makes me hungry, cranky, and is a major contributor to the last of the babyweight I’m carrying around.

Eating three meals a day, so difficult in the first few days now seems so much easier and simpler. I actually like preparing all the things I’m going to eat and then sitting down to a proper meal. Then I don’t have to give food a second thought for hours! And because I’m not on the sugar high-low rollercoaster, I just slowly get hungrier for my next meal without any angst or dizziness or weakness or wobblyness I am used to. I was spending every waking minute thinking about what to eat next, so it’s been a real revelation.

Anyway, I say all of that because I’m thinking about getting back to juices and green smoothies and a lighter, more nutritionally dense way of eating. Just thinking about it. Maybe I’ll start something in April – that will be a month in my braces and a good 31 days of better eating as a good foundation. We’ll see.

31 January 2018

I asked F if she wanted her cot in Mummy’s room last night and got a respounding “Yes.” So I moved it.

Last night’s sleep:

19:00 C complains and whines and cries because he wants to sleep in Mummy’s room too. I feel like banging my head against the wall.

20:15 All kids in bed, and I’m in bed. L actually drops off without getting back out of bed. So far, so good.

22:00 I finally fall asleep after fretting for 90 minutes that I am not falling asleep.

22:30 F screams. I stroke her hair and she goes back to sleep.

23:15 F screams. She says she wants to hold my hand. The cot isn’t close enough to the bed for this. I wonder if she’d be happier if she was still in the womb. I tell her to go to sleep.

00:00 F cries. She then cries every 10-15 minutes for a minute or so until…

01:15 F asks for milk. I get her a drink of water. She finally goes to sleep.

7:00 My alarm goes off.

As you can imagine she has been about as much fun as a hangover since about 11am today because she is so tired. It’s REALLY hard to have sympathy for her irrational, overtired behaviour when she was the one faffing around and not sleeping for three hours in the middle of the night.


Toddler F’s latest fear is the bath. It’s been increasing over the months, but has finally gotten so bad she now gets hysterical when I start running the water. She’s not having a tantrum – she seems genuinely terrified. She watches the boys get in and have fun, but she won’t have any of it. So I’ve given up trying to get her in – it’s too upsetting seeing how upset she gets. We have resorted to a warm washcloth in the interim. And ponytails for her mad hair.


The lentil spag bol I made yesterday was lovely. It was a mix up of a few recipes I’ve read, and I used some home made tomato sauce I already had in the freezer. The kids wouldn’t touch it for two reasons: you could see the green lentils and you could feel the green lentils. I should have boiled them five minutes longer and maybe whizzed them into a sauce. Next time.

Tonight was chips and black bean burgers. Again the recipe was a non-specific mix up of a few I’ve read, using what I had in the cupboard. These things were brilliant. I am not kidding – I loved them. Even the kids ate some. When I make them again I’ll write up the recipe.

This is an actual photo of an actual beanburger I made this evening:

Amazing!! I had mine with no bun, loads of ketchup and fried onions. The two plant-based/vegan dinners I’ve tried so far I have really loved.

Aiming for another early night tonight, wish me luck.

30 January 2018

I’m blogging loads at the moment – it’s keeping me sane. I can’t be bothered with titles any more. I’m just going to use the date. Hello online diary!

Sleep report

Here’s last night’s shenanigans:

21:00 – L finally gives up getting out of bed and pestering me for things and falls asleep
21:30 – I go to bed
22:30 – F screams. I go in and stroke her hair, she falls asleep
03:15 – F screams. I go in and stroke her hair, she falls asleep
06:19 – L comes in and wakes me up because he had a bad dream

Sigh. Not the worst night, but far from ideal.

I spent the morning with Mum, as I do most Tuesdays, and I need to go to the supermarket before getting the boys from school. The washing needs doing and I didn’t finish cleaning up the kitchen last night, so that’s also a mess. It’s also a late night from school as I get C, but then come home and an hour later we go out and get L who has an after school club. Then I also drop his friend off at his childminders before we all come home.

All I want to do is go to bed. I shouted at the kids again this morning – not because I’m tired, I think. It’s because I’m frustrated and angry at not being able to sleep without someone screaming at me, and then when there is any screaming or bickering or whining at breakfast I just cannot deal with it.

It’s not who I am – it’s turning me into a horrible mother. I wish F could somehow understand how difficult it is to deal with constant screaming. I am thinking of moving her cot back into my room – it seems to stem from needing to know I am there – she never opens her eyes when I go in. I just stroke her hair once and all is quiet. All that screaming for 3 seconds of touch! I might ask her tonight if she wants to move into my room. She’s old enough to understand – maybe it’s what she wants to do.

Experimental dinners

I’m trying out some plant-based meals this week. First up is lentil spag bol tonight. Tomorrow I’m trying black bean burgers and maybe falafels on Thursday. I’ve got some great breakfasts going on this week, which I’ll write up separately. I’m hoping to get the children on board with at least one meal so that I can share dinners with them that I actually like 🙂