Another Month To Wait

Day 28 today, so did another test.

Negative.

Both previous times I had got a positive result by now, so I’m fairly certain I’m not pregnant this month. I also didn’t really get a clear indication that I was ovulating, as I usually do, so perhaps having come off the pill I just didn’t release an egg this month.

Feel disappointed and sad that it’s a whole month to get through again. How do people maintain their positive feelings when they try month after month and it doesn’t work?

The other thing with not being pregnant, is that it gives me more time to ruminate on whether getting pregnant is actually the right thing to be doing.

I am really disappointed, so in my heart I think I know what I want, but there is a sensible, logical, rational part of me that says,

“Stop. It’s easier with two.”

I’ve had niggling backache for days on end and am so tearful I will cry at anything. Must be the classic PMS – although it’s hard to remember what real, regular periods were like, they have been so disrupted over the last few years.

Feeling pretty sad today, but on the plus side can drink a large glass of wine without guilt this evening.

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