After much thought over the last few days I think I have finally realised what my current limitation is.
I am a planner, not a doer.
I am very good at making lists, starting new projects, envisaging new things… but seeing them through to completion is another thing altogether. Sometimes I don’t even want to start doing something because I know I won’t be able to finish it quickly. So it just sits on my list of personal goals for years and years. I’m really good with imagination, but really poor with commitment. It’s not time management that’s my problem, it’s the fact that after the first flush of excitement I don’t have the discipline to see things through.
Why am I like this? Why does long term commitment to completing a goal or project seem like too much hard work??
I have no idea what the cause is, but I need to find the cure, or I am going to get worse and worse and eventually stop achieving anything at all and end up living in a pigsty and never washing my hair (ok, slight exaggeration there).
Strangely, I don’t suffer the same problem at work. Maybe that’s something to do with the enforced time commitment, but work stuff nearly always gets done.
I’m wondering if my personal goals aren’t SMART enough (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Tangible). I hardly ever break big goals down, I just add them to the ever increasing list and then get disheartened when I don’t know where to start, or start and get disheartened because there is just too much to do.
Maybe I should SMARTise all my goals. Although again, that’s planning, which I like doing.
Rewards don’t work either, because I am the kind of person that indulges as and when, regardless of what I have been doing. Knowing I can eat a pile of ice cream or buy a new pair of shoes whenever I want means I don’t think about it that much and only ever do it occassionally. I don’t really do the guilt thing.
I need to work out a way around this – I love the feeling of finishing something and I need to finish more things.
An aside: I’m missing Steve. I am used to seeing him all day every day .