8 Weeks And Counting

I have lost all interest in worrying about miscarriage at this point and instead spend my time OBSESSING over how much longer I will feel sick for. The nausea is absolutely debilitating and I am psychologically crawling through each day. Last night I woke at 3am and had the strongest urge to be sick I’ve ever had. I felt like I had food poisoning and lay in bed waiting for it all to come up and I didn’t even care, because moving to the bathroom was out of the question (all movement seems to make it worse). Nothing happened, luckily for the husband.

EVERYTHING I eat instantly makes me feel worse, and yet eating nothing at all is just as bad. I’m getting dehydrated because I can’t bear the sensation of drinking water, so once a day when I’m feeling slightly less awful I try to down a couple of glasses (which instantly sets off the sickness again). On the plus side, I am not revolted by smells or foods of any kind, so at least I can function in the kitchen and (just about) change a poo-filled nappy.

It’s gotten worse with each week, and it tends to peak at week 9 (and I think I remember that being the worst time with my eldest), so I am ticking the MINUTES off in my head of each hour that passes. If I can make it through another week, I’ll survive. I am actually now really scared of being sick because I think if I start, I won’t be able to stop.

I’m sure it wasn’t this bad with my other term pregnancies. Although, I had swine flu at seven weeks with my second and spent two weeks in bed, and a further four weeks recovering after which I ended up with pleurisy (inflammation of the lining of the lung), so I didn’t really notice. With hindsight, that might have been a blessing.

Whatever. I just know that I will be glad when this eases up and it feels like I’m carrying a baby rather than a giant rock in my stomach. At the moment, the sickness is literally the only thing I think about all day long.

Other good news is that after several cans of prunes over the last week and a couple of days of salads I have finally gotten rid of the constipation and I am not as bloated. I weighed myself this morning and my total weight gain is back down to zero (!). So maybe I was just carrying a load half-digested food around. Digestion does slow down in pregnancy (to extract maximum nutrients), so I suppose that makes sense.

Two days til my next scan (Wednesday evening). Surely it will be okay. It should not be possible to feel so utterly hellish without a damn good reason, right?!?

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