6 Weeks

A lot can change in just under a week, and I’m hoping it’s all good…

At 5w1d I had no real symptoms of anything. At 5 weeks 4 days, I felt vaguely sick in the evening. At 5 weeks 5 days I had full on, stomach-turning nausea in the evening because I’d gotten too hungry before dinner. 

And for the last two days it’s been all day sickness, the kind that makes you want to eat all the time in the hope that somehow the food will make it go away.

I’m still struggling with blood sugar highs/lows and I get very shaky and wobbly in the first half of each day. I’ve countered that by eating more – a LOT more. It’s the only thing that seems to help, but my body is running through calories at lightning speed (at least, I haven’t put any weight on yet, despite my daily intake being breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and evening snack). I am eating far too much, I know, but I don’t seem to be able to stop.

Also, over the last couple of days, with the constant nausea, all my good habits have gone out of the window. I’ve not been walking (because I’m tired and moving makes me feel sick). I’ve been eating carbs, carbs, carbs, including, on Friday morning, TWO bounty chocolate bars. And I don’t mean the two bars you get in one pack, I mean four bars, from two packs. A disgusting amount of chocolate in one sitting.

The other thing that has markedly changed is (tmi warning), my nipples. They are two shades darker and TWICE as big as they were. I have modest sized boobs, so they now look like they are 50% nipple. The change is astonishing. My boobs haven’t been especially sore, so it’s even weirder to see them in the mirror.

All in all, I feel pregnant. For the first time in years. I feel completely, hormonally, absolutely pregnant.

I looked back over my diary and during my last pregnancy (which I lost at 7w5d), I went to a zumba class at just before the 6 week mark. A zumba class!! Even the thought of doing that today makes me want to throw up and crawl back into bed.

And as for the ever-present spotting, the thing that has plagued me constantly, I’ve had absolutely none. Nothing. I am one of those women who bleeds all the time, but I’ve had none. That in itself is a small miracle.

I had a dream that I went for my scan last night – it was such a vivid dream. Three days and hopefully a heartbeat. Three days.

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