I tested this morning – once at 4:30am cause I desperately needed the bathroom, and once at 7am when I properly got up.
Both of them are 99% BFN.
As in, there might be a ghost of a line there, but not even as shadowy as yesterday (and yesterday’s was pretty faint). In fact, today’s hint of a ghost line makes yesterday’s test look like a BFP in comparison.
I will test again tomorrow, but I suspect tomorrow will be a perfect, snowy white negative.
So what happened?
My guess is that the egg was fertilised, implanted, and then either died or was rejected: i.e. it was no good. I did get some sudden cramps yesterday evening on my left side. Just a few minutes, then they stopped. Kind of like it was all ending I suppose.
I’ve been doing some reading about IVF recently. I mean, you get the sperm, the egg, they fertilise and you put it in the womb when it’s ready to implant. How on earth can that NOT work? Right?
Well, this clinic sees only 15% of eggs implant in women aged 40-42.
And this article, about a new photography technique to improve selection of viable embryos, says overall the live birth rate is only around 24% for IVF in the UK.
But, if you use a younger woman’s eggs, the success rate rockets.
How depressing is that?
It’s not the womb.
It’s not the sperm.
It’s the egg.
Those damn eggs just aren’t as good as you get older.
Even if you harvest them out, fertilise them with decent sperm and grow them in perfect conditions in a lab, they still aren’t viable.
I am disappointed this morning – I really, really thought this month would be it.
I’ve been gluten free for 3 months, I’m feeling really good, I just thought it would work.
I’m not sure whether to just eat a whole bucket of chocolate, or book myself into a raw foods retreat and do some kind of extreme dietary approach in an attempt to salvage any good eggs I may have left.