I’ve moaned. I’ve bored you all. I’ve been self-obsessed and maudlin.
But no more.
I can’t even begin to express my gratitude to the people that read what I write here and take the time to post encouraging comments. The support I receive here on my secret blog (mwah ha hah!) is wonderful and far beyond what is available in real life simply because online I have connected with people in distant places who understand parts of my personality in a way that the people I physically cross paths with often don’t.
If you could ‘tag’ your conversations you might make friends randomly in shops and on buses, who understood exactly what you were going through. But in the real world it doesn’t work like that.
So, I want to say a massive thank you to the wonderful and wise voices from the following blogs:
If you want to read something wise, funny, heartfelt and honest, visit these girls.
I barely know them, but they have helped me through some of my roughest days.
As if that wasn’t enough in the way of gushing happiness for having an internet connection, I also want to say that after several hours of deep thought, I have signed up for a proper, grown-up, chip-timed, multi-terrain, 5k run.
I love it, yet these days I never do it.
When DS1 was born, I came home from the hospital broken. I lost almost three litres (yes, three litres) of blood and very nearly died from a post-partum haemorrhage (regular readers will spot a theme emerging – yes I bleed profusely at any given opportunity – consequently I can now spell haemorrhage without even looking it up).
11 months and many, many training runs later, I had shed two and a half of the three stone I gained in pregnancy, and I ran the Bupa Great South 10 miles for fun on a freezing October day in a slow, but still respectable time of 1hr 52.
After I crossed the finish line, I said to DH that we needed to try for another baby. 6 weeks later I was pregnant and the following summer DS2 was born.
It was a time when everything was flowing and life was on my side.
I remember my training runs vividly. The strength and freedom I felt while running out in the sunshine, for an hour at a time, while my Mum looked after DS1 is something I will never forget.
Since DS2’s birth, running has never really made it back into my life.
I’ve had a few false starts, but there has been no commitment.
I’ve been wavering around I might be pregnant for too long. And since I don’t do things by halves, having something else to focus on is exactly what I need. It will remove me from the obsessiveness over getting the baby thing right.
So let’s talk running.
My best ever 5k time (I am not a naturally fast runner) is 27:59 (2004).
My last timed 5k that I ran with a GPS came in at about 34 minutes (April 2013).
I’ve done nothing since then. I’d probably struggle to make 40 minutes if I went out right now.
I’ve downloaded the NHS Couch to 5K running program. It’s set over 9 weeks, but I’m not a complete couch potato, so I reckon I can catch up as I have 7 weeks and 4 days until my 5k run.
I am actually excited!
I am thinking about lovely running kit, and warm evenings and that wonderful feeling of tiredness in your muscles from a good, hard workout.
So now, instead of boring you all senseless with tales of woe over my empty uterus, I’m going to bore you all senseless with tales of exhilaration and despair over my latest running performance 😉
I need a break from all this TTC lark, and I imagine you all do too.
First run tomorrow.