I had muesli for breakfast this morning, exactly as always.
I buy one with lots of nuts and seeds and it usually gets me through til about 12pm before I get hungry.
But today I came out of a 9am meeting at work and I was shaking. That wobbly, horrible feeling you get when your blood sugar has plummeted and you need some food RIGHT NOW.
So I went to the canteen and bought… a sausage sandwich. Yup, my second breakfast was a sausage sandwich at 9.30am.
I also wanted two bananas to go with it (really – that’s exactly what I was imagining eating), but they had sold out of bananas 🙁
My usual midday lunchtime came and went, and not unsurprisingly I didn’t want my packed lunch salad.
At 1.30pm I forced down some lettuce and tomato and a bit of carrot. The rest went in the bin.
And here’s the weird thing. I am currently suffering from what can only be described as food aversions. It’s not nausea (hurrah!), it’s just an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to put certain things in my mouth.
The thought of eating the flatbreads in my packed lunch made me feel distinctly ill.
This is a very gentle kind of “morning sickness”, unlike previous pregnancies where from about 5.5 weeks I felt sick whenever I wasn’t eating and hated the taste of everything while I was eating.
The only thing that worries me is that the lack of nausea means a miscarriage is a possibility. I even craved a cup of coffee this afternoon (with cream and sugar), which I haven’t been able to stand in previous pregnancies. I drank the coffee and have been paranoid all afternoon that I’ve hurt the baby.
Or what if the baby isn’t developing? What if there won’t be anything there at the scan?
Once you’ve suffered a pregnancy loss, you never, ever really relax about pregnancy ever again.
I’m trying hard to be positive, but in a way, full-on morning sickness would be more reassuring.