Today, my second official day at home, I decided to tackle the subject of HAIR REMOVAL.
Us ladies have hair all over the place that we like to pretend doesn’t exist, and there are many different methods of getting rid of the damn stuff. I have been a razor girl for as long as I can remember, briefly dabbling in depilatory cream as a teenager, except for my bikini line, which I always, always use an epilator on. Bikini bush is never a good look, and after discovering that shaving this area makes you look like a badly plucked chicken (and the regrowth – ouch!), I first turned to sugaring, and finally resorted to electricity and the pain of 1000 tweezers.
I have been doing this for so long now, that it really isn’t that painful anymore, and I am always really pleased with the results. but I have never managed to successfully apply the same technique to my underarms and legs, on which I have always wimped out and used a razor.
I hate the fact that it regrows on my legs in 48 hours, all stubbly and scratchy, and have been meaning to attempt some more sophisticated method for some time.
Yesterday I bought some home wax strips. The instructions are:
1) Make sure your legs are clean and dry
2) Dust lightly with talc
3) Apply strip
4) Don’t hesitate. Pull strip off really fast
The theory being all the hair goes with the strip, leaving behind a nice smooth leg.
I stuck them on my leg, ripped them off… and most of the hairs hadn’t budged. I wondered if using talc was stopping it gripping the hairs, so I tried the other leg without the talc. This time it hurt more, and left a sticky residue on my leg… but still didn’t take many hairs.
I used about 10 strips, and my legs were still only half plucked. It wasn’t really hurting, but I guess that’s because it wasn’t pulling out many hairs. Fed up, I resorted to tweezers and pulled the rest of the hair out by hand.
45 minutes later, I examined under my arms. Not looking too sexy there, so I slapped a wax strip on.
This time when I pulled the strip off, it was AGONIZING.
I looked at the strip – there didn’t seem to be much hair. I looked in the mirror and all the hair was still attached to my armpit. Ah no, not quite – there was a tiny blob of blood where one hair had been successfully extracted. I tried again.
Wax strip still empty.
I tried the other underarm, this time dusting liberally with talc.
Two hairs came out.
Realising this was futile, I dug out the trusty epilator, thus far only used in the experienced area of the bikini bush, and never tested on the uncharted underarm region.
I tried using the epilator, but the hair under my arms is obviously so well attached after 15 years of shaving, it felt like I was being chewed up by a large dog. Not only that but blobs of blood were appearing all over the place and I was starting to worry that electricity might be conducted through my blood from the appliance, a very embarrassing cause of death to be associated with.
My temples were starting to throb, so I gave up with the epilator, wiped the blood away and resorted to the tweezers again.
I spent 15 minutes pulling out all the remaining little bastards, and then smugly admired the reflection of my sore, red, but completely hair free underarms in the mirror.