10dpo and Why I’m Not Testing This Month

Yup, it’s true, I have made it to 10dpo and I haven’t even touched a pregnancy test. For the woman who buys ultra-sensitive tests and has been testing from 7dpo for over a year, this is no mean feat, I tell ya.

I had a wobble today. It would be so easy to walk upstairs right now and POAS and see that BFN.

But I am holding out. Because:

  • After 17 months I am finally convinced I won’t be having another baby.
  • I don’t want to know about early chemical pregnancies any more. I’ve had 3 and they are too sad.
  • I’ve always kind of liked my periods and I have finally realised that the bleeding that shows I am (apparently) a fertile woman is a nicer way to learn there’s no baby than a plasticky, stark white, negative pregnancy test.
  • Getting a BFN but still having to wait for AF is just cruel.
  • Letting go (and not testing) is a step I need to take towards moving on.
  • Secondary infertility can kiss my arse, because I’m done with being its pawn.

So there you go. I’ve had no out of the ordinary symptoms this month really, and we only BD’d once during my fertile window anyway, but I think I am actually going to be OK when AF arrives. I will be gentle with my own body when it tells me, in its own way, that it hasn’t made a baby again.

8 thoughts on “10dpo and Why I’m Not Testing This Month”

  1. Hugs! You sound resigned. I bet that is both a relief and very sad at the same time. Keep your chin up! Lots of hugs and prayers going your way from me!!

    La-

  2. I hate “liking” this post on one hand. But on the other, I’m glad that you sound so resolute and OK with what is going on. Take care, friend.

    p.s. been using the C25K running ap. LOVE IT.

  3. I LIKED this post because I am proud of you for not testing. I know EXACTLY how you feel about not wanting to know about an early pregnancy and then losing it. I generally test when I am at least a week late, prefereably two. Even though the suspense kills me, it is better than knowing for a few days and then losing it, OR getting a BFN! 🙁
    Praying for peace for you. XOXO

  4. Tough cookie, I love that you’re standing strong. Saying that, if you tested today I would completely understand why. Riding this roller coaster of IF with you Rose xx

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