A bit of a longer one today. Getting used to talking to myself, haha!
Actually, I really wish that I’d taken video of myself talking years ago. I think it would have had a huge impact on my presentation skills when I was working in a corporate environment.
I’ve noticed that in addition to the “er”s that I have to edit out (trying not to say them is hard – I must have done it unknowingly for years), I also smack my lips together now and again as a kind of punctation mark (who does that? it’s weird!). And I lick my lips all the time. No wonder they are always dry and peeling. I’ve edited a lot of these ‘ticks’ out to save you the pain of my annoying habits.
It’s funny, because these things are things that everyone that knows me will just know as part of my character and the way I talk, but to me they really stand out as annoying and unnecessary. It’s a quite a shock when you watch yourself talking and you realise that you are nothing like you think you are in your head.
I’ll log once more before Monday, to talk about my food diary. Then it’s all systems go.
I have to admit that I am a bit worried about how hard it’s going to be. In addition to not eating all my favourite food, eating healthier requires:
iv. lots of trial and error, and
v. loads of motivation and persistence and resilience and other things that I struggle with
But all of these are reasons are why I am going to be working with a nutritional therapist on a weekly basis for the next three months. So it’s all under control. Right?
Oh man. I have a lot to learn about videos. Sorry about the crappy sound quality. And the shaky camera hand. People that do this all the time must spend hours on it. I think I was wrong – writing is quicker, but I can’t see my own results from the written word, so until I get better it’s crappy videos all the way.
My uncle died suddenly at the end of the school holidays. I get very maudlin and depressed when someone passes on – it was the same with both of my grandmothers. For weeks I was just miserable and all I could think was that we are all going to die and someday it will be my turn and maybe that day is coming soon. Time eases it, thankfully.
My oldest son went up to a new school so the start of the school year brought heaps of form-filling, new school run routes and buses, new clubs, homework and routines.
Work started back up almost immediately and I booked in three new projects to take me up to Christmas.
I ran the Great South Run (10 miles), for the first time in 7 years. I did it in 1hr45, so I was pretty damn pleased with that ?.
Thankfully, in some sort of miracle, unprompted transition (we didn’t do anything different), baby F has pretty much started to sleep through, because without that I’m not sure I would have coped (just don’t mention daytime naps because that is a world of pain and overtired toddlering).
Taking better care
As you can imagine, self-care went somewhat out of the window in the midst of all the emotion and busy-ness. I was back to drinking wine every evening to take the edge off the day and eating sugary food all the time as comfort.
In the second week of September I decided I’d really just had enough of the wine (it’s only taken 26 years). The number one reason was that although baby F often woke only once and sometimes not at all, I was still waking every couple of hours. I knew it was drinking wine before bed every evening that was the issue. I wasn’t drinking enough to knock me out for the night, but my innocent habit of a glass or two was ruining my sleep.
It’s been seven weeks since I had any and it has been eye-opening how much I craved it in the first month. It had become a method of dealing with stress, which I know is a destructive path.
Quite how much I wanted to drink at the end of some of the days I had both scared me and made me sad that I had decided to give it up!
Unfortunately, the wine in the evening has been replaced with chocolate in the day. Despite still running regularly my weight has slowly crept up to what it was a year ago. I constantly crave sugary food – especially when stressed.
I don’t enjoy the relationship I have with food so much these days. I used to be a functional eater and I just didn’t eat unless I was hungry. Now it’s got a lot less to do with how hungry I am and a lot more to do with how nice it tastes.
Which brings me nicely to where I am now. I’m going to be working with a nutritional therapist over a 12 week period. I had been thinking of booking her for a long time, but I needed to be ready.
Now I am. Really I am. I feel old and podgy and tired and listless.
I really love reading about people doing this sort of thing, but I have so little time to blog. Instead I’m going to try something WAY out of my comfort zone and vlog it.
I am an introvert who far prefers writing to talking, but video is so speedy. Even editing out all the “er”s on my phone only took ten minutes. But not only that – you can’t beat video for showing how things change. I’d like to hope that I will get to see some changes, so it’s mainly for a personal record of the changes (if any?!), I experience. I’d love to be able to look back in 3 months time and see real, visual results.
It was a great training week for me last week. I got another PB at parkrun, and I also got a PB at a 5k race on Wednesday evening. I’m expecting this week to be very slow in comparison as my legs feel quite tired.
I’ve just started a new healthy eating challenge that runs for three weeks, organised by a local nutritional therapist. I’ve finished day one and eaten more protein that I normally eat in three days, so that will help my muscle recovery 🙂
Super pleased with last week, and heading to the three month mark of consistent training, which is something I haven’t managed for years.
Very easy 6km, lovely run, meandered around the village.
5km race. 30:39 PB!
6km walk (I usually run on a Thursday as I work from home that day, but my legs were still sore from the previous evening).
Check out my new blog graphic that actually makes it look like I’m some kind of proper athlete, hah!
Anyway, this makes ten weeks of exercise – woo hoo!
It’s been a good week, and I got a PB at parkrun on Saturday, yay. In fact I finally feel like the whole exercise thing is falling into place. You know how it is at the beginning when you first start – everything hurts, everything is exhausting, everything is suchhard work. Well, I genuinely have reached a place where it really isn’t that horrible any more. Of course it’s still hard, but my body copes better, and it’s a nice feeling. My headaches have been less this week but they are still niggling every day. They are driving me crazy, but do seem to be settling down, so I’ll hold tight for now and hope next week brings some relief.
I really need to add some more strength training in. I know it will help my running and I know it’s important, but I always feel such resistance to doing resistance, haha. Maybe when I’m ten weeks down the line with it, I’ll feel differently.
Next week I have an actual 5k race on Wednesday evening. It’s a 5-race series, running once a month from April to August. My friend has just this minute sent me the results for the first two (that I didn’t enter) and it very much looks like I am going to come last. Full race report to come. And I’ll definitely be doing some strength work after that.